What If ……Father

What if I didn’t have your eyes,

Your face, that smile,

would I still be despised

What if I was born a boy,

would you have left me

hungry on the cold kitchen floor

What if my smile wasn’t so bright,

when I saw you late at night

What if my brown eyes, didn’t gleam with unshed tears,

when you forgot a promise, once again

What if I didn’t see, that hand raised, against a woman,

who cleaned and slaved, for a love she never had as a daughter

What if I was one of your demons, when trapped

in the bends, I wouldn’t have been ignored,

like so many bills

What if, that one time you came, I didn’t refused,

to sit on your lap, so you could kiss my face,

when, unkempt, you smelled of stale cigarettes,

booze and cheap sex

What if you had called, once, to see if I had enough

instead of drowning your demons, in gin

What if I didn’t judge every man, by the sins

of an abusive absent father

Perhaps, then, love would win

What if I didn’t ignore the drunk on the corner

begging for a dollar

from a daughter he didn’t recognize

And what if, before you died,

you acknowledge

You weren’t the father

this daughter

should have had

Copyright © 2013 Glynis Rankin

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