The Undeterred Male: Sexy or Sexist?

Kiralyn has a point in this informative post. I haven’t written any stories where the man pushes his way to a woman’s life, who has repeatedly said no or left a window open, as some like to put it. No real woman can ever be persuaded to change her mind, no matter the situation. It’s all fantasy, but most people can’t determine real from fantasy.
I mean, yes it’s a woman’s right to change her mind, but that is another stereotype that we as woman shouldn’t allow. That stereotype has led to men, woman too, to think that a raped woman, first said yes, and then changed her mind. Ridiculous! Yet, there are people with that mindset. We don’t say that about a man, because if he continually changed his mind, he is given a negative term like wishy washer. Wow, I’ve gone off track.
I’ve read the latest versions of the, so-called, YA and adult novels with this theme of the undeterred male, and wonder, what’s wrong with this picture? It’s not just in the books, but on television and movies. Luke raped Lori, but he knew she loved him, they get married and the world cheered. WTF!
No, means no, and no matter what form or fashion it’s written in. There is nothing romantic about a man constantly pressuring you, after you told him no, or maybe, or we can be friends. The very idea of that seems, as some kind of romantic gesture, is shocking to me. Which is why, I never write romance novels. The whole format is ridiculous.
The undeterred man in most, if not all romances, is a classic stocker type. Look the term up that is why so many young girls end up starry-eyed at some male, unaware of the dangers. It’s alright if he wants to come through my window and watch me, he loves me, what? He can follow me around, that’s okay he likes me? Crazy!
How are our young girls to know, what is acceptable behavior in a boy/man, when what they read, see and hear is the kind of fantasy life presented of the undeterred man? They romanticized a dangerous boy, who beats them, rape them, or put them out on the streets, because they have idealized the male and female roles from what they’ve seen in our culture today. We as writer and readers should change this view of the romanticized undeterred man. I say we must change this for our future. What say you?


My fabulous critique partner Hope Cook, linked an article recently that has me… uneasy:  Rape Culture in Popular Culture. I’m feeling uncomfortable as a reader, a writer, and a woman by the point the author brings up, so, of course, I have to write about it.

The article boils down to this point: The undeterred male in romance is an example of rape culture.

Wait… what?

The use of the phrase has my hackles up. Anytime anyone drops such a charged expression, I find myself immediately jumping into Devil’s Advocate mode and wanting to argue against it. The words sensationalism, hyperbole, and hypersensitivity whirl through my mind in an angry tempest. Especially in this case, since I tend to enjoy a good romance book with an undeterred male love interest.

So, what’s wrong with an undeterred male? The article states that:

“When a man is…

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